I came to the world of business from the world of reporting and journalism.
So clear and concise language is always something I appreciated and tried to use in my own work.
But after entering the world of business I have encountered language that is frankly, appalling but ultimately not surprising. It is fascinating how industries, professions use language as a way to monopolize knowledge and exclude most of us.
For example, the language used in contracts has long been controlled by lawyers, decipherable only by other lawyers – thankfully this is beginning to change.
The world of business has its own lingua franca.
So here is list of cringe inducing business buzz words and phrases
- Monetize – I would rather Leverage Assets than Monetize
- Actionable Items – I have spent a good part of my life trying to remove Actionable Items from my To Do List.
- Deliverables – I have one right now but it really is an Actionable Item, so I should be adding the deliverable to my To Do List
- Incent – the root of incentivize ( I think ). How can we incentivize people to stop using crapping words?
- Operationalize – Yes, another “ize” word
- Offline – Clearly, if you are reading this you are not, maybe we need to speak about it after we Operationalize
- Touchpoint – I rarely have touch points at work, most are pain points.
- Mission Critical - Did NASA invent this word?
- Critical Path – Are all things that are on the critical path mission critical?
- Change Management – Sadly, after a company goes through this often the only thing to change is the number of employees.
- Liquid Event - There are all kinds of liquid events – - daily shower, caught in the rain, car wash and of course the stuff in dirty movies. I guess it has something to do with an event of some kind where assets are sold. Part of an “exit strategy” is often to have a liquid event
There are so many more buzz words that need to be listed so please get incentivized, make it an Action Item, with deliverables. Now, I understand first you have to operationalize but we can discuss that offline to see whether it truly is an information touchpoint. I should emphasize that after our change management review this is mission critical and you are on the critical path. If we do not have a monetization strategy for our list of buzz words then we will likely have a negative liquid event.
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